Dear Ludic Liberators,
Thanks for last night. . . 😉
Yesterday's Lab was so SENSATIONAL (as in, filled with many thrilling & sometimes uncomfortable sensations) and juicy with DATA revealed through our gameplay, that I feel it is my responsibility to share the LAB REPORT with everyone, including the no-shows and the lurkers (I love you lurkers, you are so full of mystery!).
What did we learn about the ways we play with desire in life by playing games with desire in the Lab? Well, definitely not what DESIRE *IS* or how to effortlessly manifest your desires into reality. If that's what you want to know, you should probably read THE SECRET (Or I'll just tell you the secret: it's visualizing, feeling, thinking and being like you already have what it is that you want–essentially re-tuning your whole self vibration to match the objects/situations you desire–all that is more work than it sounds, because you essentially have to undo all the habits of how you already feel, think, act, and vibrate, so, good luck!).
MORE INTERESTINGLY, we explored some ways we STRATEGIZE around what we want, don't ALLOW ourselves to even want it, and did some unpacking of the CONTRADICTIONS we carry around with our desires.
Here are some findings:
🚨 We POLICE our desires (which themselves might be wild, amoral & fleeting) by:
- adjusting to the apparent desire expressions and norms of others
- claiming to desire something we imagine a potential partner (or some other evaluator of us) might prefer
- testing whether the desire matches our typical choices
- creating strict criteria for what qualifies or disqualifies the expression of our desire
- only allowing ourselves to desire what seems probable to attract
🎭 We CONFUSE our desires by:
- choosing one thing but continuing to wonder if we should have chosen something else
- infusing our present relationships with unresolved fears and traumas from the past
- believing that our desires will never change (even though we know that our desires have changed in the past)
- forgetting that others also have their own desires that may conflict with ours
The above gameplay strategies aren't wrong – remember you are always FREE to choose to play the same scripts, but you can also, if you want, experiment with different rules!
🎲 We can PLAY with our desires by:
- observing & enjoying the WANTING of something we might never actually be able to have, just because wanting itself is pleasurable as voyeurism or fantasy
- exploring what it's like to desire (and maybe even to pursue and to have) something that is UNLIKE, even OPPOSITE of what we usually want or choose, just as an experiment to see what it's like
- curiously examining and modulating (like a DJ!?) different components of our desires - our feelings, memories, attachments.... seeing if there are some that we can let go, others that want to be stronger, one or two that would appreciate receiving some self-compassion, or simply expressing what they want to say
🎁 As a gift to YOU, here's a game you can play by yourself, with a partner, or as a group to explore your DESIRES. It's called DESIRE SOURCERY because we're trying to get to the SOURCE of it all. Start with a want – big or small, but one you actually want – and express it in this form "I WANT _______ SO THAT________" filling in the blanks. The second person (or yourself if you're playing alone) starts their "I WANT" with whatever you said for your SO THAT. (ex - person 1: I want coffee so that I can feel awake. person 2: I want to feel awake so that I can work. person 3: I want to work so that can make money). Keep going. You'll know when you're done when you can't think of anymore SO THATS for your desires, when your I WANT and SO THAT become the same thing AND/OR when you return to your original desire. You can play it with me on Instagram @ludicliberation :-)
THANK YOU BRAVE PLAYERS WHO MADE LAST NIGHT'S LAB POSSIBLE! If the experience brought you value and you'd love for our research into playful liberation to continue, AND you have the means, please consider making a donation of whatever you can via paypal or venmo. Your feedback (and personal findings!) are also extremely meaningful and important contributions – please send them to ludicliberation@gmail.com.
I WANT SO MANY CONFLICTING THINGS BUT I WANT ALL OF THEM WITH YOU,
n a t a l i a
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